Un-Puzzled
gen - Luffy, Usopp, Nami - PG

"Little mystery bricks." Luffy picks them up and plays with them, rolling them around his hands while Usopp hammers the loose board. They travel in a jaunty bounce across his rubber skin, all disparate shapes and angles.

Usopp tries to split his attention as he works. The puzzle's been passed along between Robin, Chopper, Nami and now Usopp ever since Robin found it in a curio shop at the last port. Mysterious key to finding a long lost treasure! or at least, it is in the tales he's already spun while Chopper and Luffy's eyes widened, Zoro snorted and Nami looked wistful. Somehow, they fit together... except there is, as they have finally decided, a piece missing.

Luffy click-clicks it around in his fingers with a grin that could swallow half the ship and abruptly there is a very final sort of click.

Luffy gives a delighted, high-pitched little thrill; Usopp hits his thumb and spits the nails between his lips in a volley across the deck; Chopper becomes a wailing blur before the spiky hail; Robin makes a surprised noise as his mad dash is terminated by the deckchair that collapses under her.

"Hey, Nami!" Luffy yells, leaping up. "Nami, I fixed it! I fixed the key! Let's go find the treasure, Namiiiii!"

Robin and Chopper stare from their pile of deckchair, fur and limbs. Usopp, curled foetally around a thumb swollen larger than the rest of his hand, chokes and gapes through the pain.

The cavorting idiot races down the deck, waving the perfect little cube of wood blocks.

Pint-Sized Perverts
mild Luffy/Robin - Luffy, Robin, Nami, Brook - PG

Nami cringed as another loud bang and bloodcurdling yell split the air. She was just turning to yell back at the morons, louder, when two knee-high blurs shot past her. One of them was pink and brown and fluffy. The other--

"Dammit, Luffy, are you using Giant Gear on board ship again!" Whatever the hell was behind this recent rash of experimentation, she'd more than had enough of watching Franky fix holes in the Sunny. She slapped aside her maps and hared after the pair... and smack into Brook. The skeleton was holding his hat on his head and chortling musically as he ran.

"What the--? She snatched at a skeletal shoulder, forgetting he was relatively light and almost dragging him over before she got her balance. He caught her under the arm and jogged her gamely along with him as she squeaked protest.

They turned the corner to find Robin on the lawn deck, standing smiling down at the diminutive pair as they ran in circles around her long, bare legs. Zoro cranked an eye open from where he lounged against the mast, grunted in alarm and then opened both, wide. "Oi, Luffy..."

"Robin!" Nami felt a vein in her forehead twitch, and she clenched her fists ever tighter at her sides as realisation dawned.

"Aaaaah, watch out!" Chopper's yelp warred with the ear-grating screech of rubber under stress and the little reindeer dived aside. Robin and Luffy tumbled into the grass with Luffy's full-sized face buried under Robin's tiny skirt.

"Blue lace!" crooned Luffy, muffled.

Robin gave a pointed little cough and frowned down at him flopped between her knees.

"Yo ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ~~~~~ hooooo!"

Nami turned and decked Brook with all her strength. "You put them up to this!"

Influence
gen - Luffy, Strawhats, Doflamingo - PG-13

It isn't until he sees himself looking back at him that he knows something's wrong. Then, it hits him all at once, distorted in that silvery sliver, except it isn't just the metal doing the distorting -- the sharp, bright metal of the blade by his feet--

--those aren't his eyes--

Not those blank, lifeless discs. They blink and the world goes dark, and he staggers, his foot nudging Wadou on the floor. She sings out a mournful whine against the rock, and he can hear them now--

--don't, Luffy! -- no -- this isn't you -- fight him, Luffy! -- fight! -- don't let him win -- Luffy! -- Captain!--

He lifts his head and sees them; feels the slick stickiness and sees the blood on his hands. Zoro is in front of him, Zoro with two swords raised and one on the ground, and blood on his face; Sanji, just as battered and bloody, before the women -- Robin's arms poised but her eyes glazed and her body frozen; Usopp, Chopper and Nami's faces stretched in horror.

Behind him, Luffy can feel the last player in this drama, hanging at his shoulder. He can feel the smile, even before mocking laughter sounds out again. And he knows that there's no sticky red blood painting that man's hands at all, because... he didn't use his own.

"Do it, Strawhat," the insidious voice sneers. "They never liked you anyway. They all think you're laughable. But they're weaker than you... they just proved it... What captain needs such a weak, useless, disrespectful crew?"

Luffy lifts his hands and looks into the eyes of his wavering, bloodstained swordsman.

And as he turns with a yell of pure rage and plants his fist into the face of the man with the stupid feather boa, he knows his nakama are right behind him.

Cash Prize
suggestive gen - Nami, Luffy, Usopp - mild R

"Hey, Nami, I got money!" He thrusts it out to her, a wad of creased 100 belli notes in his notably sticky fingers.

She's already hugging it to her chest and singing gently to it before it hits her to wonder precisely what the hell? "Luffy, where did you get this?" If he stole it they will have half the marines in this town after them already, since it's a physical impossibility for him to do anything with subtlety.

Luffy points across the fairground. "Over there. This guy gave me money 'cause I licked his thingy."

...WHAT?

"Say again?" Nami squeaks, and realises with mounting panic he has milky drips around his mouth and in his hair.

"I licked it and he gave me all these notes. You like money, don't you, Nami?" His innocent, open face starts to form a pout, as though wondering what's wrong with his gift, while she sways and trembles and makes inarticulate noises. "It was really salty, but it tasted almost like Sanji's, so I knew--"

She's slipping away into oblivion as his last words float to her. "...And then he let me eat the rest 'cause I guessed it right, and then we got a free milkshake too but Usopp slapped me on the back and it spilled..."

...

"...Hey, Nami?"

Usopp wanders over to where the captain is crouched next to his semi-conscious, gibbering navigator, poking curiously at her shoulder and blinking as she lapses back into unconsciousness again, sticky notes still clutched rigidly in her fist.

He licks the last of the culinary delights of the taste-test stall from his fingers. It really is much saltier than Sanji makes it, and he doubts he'd have guessed it himself. He frowns down suspiciously at Luffy. "Tell me you did that on purpose, right?"

Lullaby
mild Luffy/Robin - Luffy, Usopp, Chopper - PG

The sound drifts through the new Thousand Sunny, thin and high, oddly bright for its slow, mournful edge. Usopp is just drifting off to sleep when he hears it, and with all the restfulness and peace carried in the sound it shouldn't wake him up, and of course he knows it can only be one person, but... he wants to know why, and for some reason, he feels himself pressed to investigate.

He runs into Chopper at the door, and they shush each other quiet and tiptoe with an air of conspiracy, the bold explorers, boldly barefoot in nightgowns, following the trail of the mysterious sound. It takes them closer and closer to the girl's cabin with every step.

Nami is on watch, so only Robin should be there -- which means that it is safe, more or less, since a peek may only get them a dismissal by businesslike hands rather than the sort of extreme violence they'd be courting otherwise.

Usopp peeks in, fighting Chopper for the gap in the door (easily, because the other doesn't think to slip into heavy point). And he sees.

A smile creeps over his face and his chest constricts and he sniffs... but he's not crying, dammit, because he's a Manly Warrior of the Seas! so he sets his quivering jaw and lets Chopper push in front, who shortly gives a squeak, bursts into tears and starts hugging his leg.

A moment later, the sound falls quiet, the door slips open and they're discovered.

...But Luffy, wide eyed and blinking in his own overlarge nightshirt, just presses his finger to his lips and whispers, "She's asleep."

They scuttle away, and safe on the deck, outlined silvery in the moonlight like three small ghosts, Luffy adds, "Makino always used to sing to me when I had bad dreams. It's good. It makes it better... Robin told me she never had anyone to do that."

Strong
Luffy/Lucci - R

"So, you're a strong guy, right?"

Lucci is familiar, over years of undercover work for the World Government, with the myriad ways that things can go awry and a situation might take a turn of such unprecedented unexpectedness that it resembles a punch upside the head; however, this still does not explain why Straw Hat Luffy is sitting on his windowsill, asking this.

He's clasping crossed feet in both hands. And grinning. There are few things in the known universe that Lucci classes as more annoying than Straw Hat Luffy's grin.

"I'm calling security."

"Yeah," Luffy grins earnestly. "'Cause you'd probably need them, right? I got stronger since I fought you last. Lots stronger!" He flexes an arm that's still just as ridiculously skinny as Lucci remembers it.

Lucci puts the den-den mushi down with a thump that sends its antenna reeling dizzily, and growls, "Why are you here?"

"Because you're strong!" Luffy practically purrs the words, aggressive and with a feral, fierce enthusiasm.

Lucci sighs, because he will never cease to feel that calling this man Pirate King makes the world Look Bad. "What do you want?"

"You." How is it that the slighter man is in front of him so fast, poking a finger against his chest? And... dear God, are those Straw Hat Luffy's HANDS on him?

Lucci is six feet plus of steel-skinned, ice-hearted, professional killer, but he feels justified, nonetheless, because when the Pirate King has just grabbed your butt there has got to be no other response than to squawk just like that.

Hattori eyes him critically from his perch, as he should, considering that atrocious impression of a fellow pigeon.

The question is, why is he not beating Straw Hat Luffy into a rubber smear on the floor? As for his inability to make any more protest than an inarticulate stutter, that is also Unacceptable.

"You're nice," Luffy says. Presumably his commentary is restricted to the physical. "And you're tall, just like I remembered, and even after all this time, you're still the strongest fighter I ever fought. That's good."

He's sure he should fear the gathering sexual burr in the growl in that lilting voice. Luffy squeezes tighter and grinds their hips together, and thus makes it clear that someone is very excited about all this.

"What. The. Fuck?" Lucci finally manages to choke out.

"Yeah..." Luffy croons.... Why is the rubber idiot rubbing his face against his chest like a... like a cat... and, well, being a cat, Lucci finds the rubbing all sorts of *lovelywarmfuzzytingly* nice and is deeply distressed at the way he can feel his spine melt and then start to dribble down towards his boots as the shorter man continues, voice still soft like that and vibrating against his skin. "...'Cause you're strong.... and that's good. I'm strong too, and I never... not yet... 'cause I might hurt someone."

Lucci, who has and, well, has, grunts.

"But I wouldn't hurt you. We wouldn't hurt each other." He bites Lucci's nipple through his shirt and the electric jolt travels straight through them both. "At least, not very much..." And Lucci has to reconcile himself to the existence of a universe where Straw Hat Luffy is unfastening his pants.

While this is clearly not on, and he is shortly going to begin resisting with deadly force... Straw Hat Luffy is unfastening his pants, and he can remember fighting the little shit -- how completely impossible it was to batter him down -- and if there is any one person he can finally, completely, cut loose with...

...All right, so that's when he realises he isn't actually resisting at all.

Players
gen - Strawhats - PG

Luffy doesn't really understand the game, but then he doesn't care to.

"Oi, dumbass, everyone can see your cards." Zoro stops pretending to sleep for long enough to nudge him with his stretched-out foot, and he laughs and curls his body forward over his hands.

It's just... that it's not very interesting...

"You can't put that down." The air from Nami's lazy slap wafts his ear as he ducks. "It doesn't make sense, and I already told you that. You said you could play this game!"

"I can!" He shuffles the cards around, eying them suspiciously from all angles and trying to remember what Nami said last time, or what Usopp said the time before that. Wait - those, those are the same little symbols as those, and maybe--

"Finally," Sanji mutters, and then really looks at the cards in their centre, looks annoyed, and throws his own down with a noise of disgusted surrender.

It's nice and all, that he won, but they're playing for a pile of tacks and not MEAT so it's not as though it matters.

Usopp shakes his shoulder and he looks up from the pack that Nami handed him with the tacks. "You know you have to deal those sometime, right?"

"Oh. Yeah." That's one card for everyone, in the same order each time, though there's a bit of shuffling about when he gives Zoro too many. He fumbles the new cards that are left in his hand, glances, picks, and swiftly tosses them down, the way he's seen Nami do.

She groans. "You don't know how to play this game at all, do you? Do you even want to play, Luffy?"

Ack! "I do!" And he sits up straighter, and snatches the fallen cards back, and tries to think, dammit, because he can do this. He can, and they're gonna make him sit it out if he doesn't try. "Aaaah... ummmm... no... no... yeah! Okay!" He slaps down his cards again, and this time Sanji grunts and takes his turn, so they must be okay.

...They're his nakama, but they're all really dumb sometimes.

They're all so good at missing the point.

It's not about watching the bright, greasy, well-thumbed cards change hands. Who wants to look at those? No... It's the crease on Usopp's forehead and the way he leans so intently into the game, the calculation that glitters in Nami's eyes even though they're only playing for tacks, the way Sanji's lips press down on his cigarette and the way his elegant hands hold the cards, the way Zoro gives nothing away at all...

Luffy doesn't care about the stupid game. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to play it with them.

Sex God
Luffy/harem - Sanji, Luffy, Nami - mild R

"Hey, Sanji," Luffy says thoughtfully, sitting hunched and picking his toes. "Do you like sex?"

The cook's cigarette spits clear over the side of the ship.

"I-- I-- I-- WHAT?!!!"

"Ooooh, you've not done it? It's fun!"

"...The hell, Luffy?" Sanji feels the true depths of abject terror. Surely the shitty rubber idiot hasn't-- not before-- not-- "What makes you think I haven't?! And where the hell did you?!" He leaps to his feet because somewhere there are ladies the shitty walking condom has abused and they need to be avenged, right now--

--Nami walks past and he slides limply back down the wall, offering a weak smile in exchange for her querying frown, because this is one time he definitely does not want to have to explain what they're fighting about.

"What the hell did you do?" he hisses at Luffy, shivering hands struggling to light a replacement cigarette.

Luffy blinks. And picks his nose. Sanji's feet twitch. Shitty rubber... Luffy is officially dead meat. He won't even bother to boil him up for stew. The bastard would be far too chewy anyway.

"Huh," says shitty rubber slowly. "Well, they wanted me to do lotsa different stuff. 'Cause I'm a man, and they don't have those on their island, so they have to do stuff to each other. Oooooh, they showed me that, too!" He grins and snickers-- shishishishi. "There were a lot of 'em, and it was pretty tiring, but it was really really fun, and I thought -- I thought 'Sanji shoulda been here, 'cause he really likes ladies, so I bet he'd like sex' -- what's the matter, Sanji?"

There is barely time for the fear to begin to register on those wide, innocent eyes.

"SANJI-KUN, NO!" Nami's cries ring out unheard: at least until they become, in rising panic, "ZORO, ROBIN, QUI-----CK! SANJI'S KILLING LUFFY--------!"

Ship's Okama
Luffy/Bon Clay - PG

There's the sound of laughter and the door leading below deck bursts open. Nami looks up from her log pose and windspeed calculations to see Luffy, clinging like a limpet to their newest crewmember, legs wrapped around Bon Clay's waist and arms about his chest. The okama dances and spins and spins like he's completely unencumbered and trills a good morning to all.

Luffy's face and arms are still mottled, darker patches of damage spotting the skin, but they're fading. Nami knows the okama has scars too, but they're hidden beneath the make-up. She watches them now, the way Luffy's face is pressed into the other's shoulder, the way that matchless grin sparkles with yet a new light still, and Bon-chan moves as though he was born with a Luffy growing out of his back. Nami doesn't miss how his hands occasionally slide, caressing, against one or other clutching rubber limb amidst his balletic moves.

He's done so much for them, nobody would even think to contest Luffy's proclaimation of "nakama!" (as if they would contest anyway); still... it's going to take some getting used to this.

"Ladiiiiiies! A diviiiiine cuisine to lift your morning, my angels!" Sanji trills, spinning with his plates to the table (and yes, Nami does have to bite her lip on pointing out the similarities at times, knowing full well how that would be received after his recent experiences). He puts the plates down and hollers to the rest of the crew, "Oi, shitty breakfast is served!"

The ship's captain scrambles down from the ship's okama and dives for the food with an exuberance happily indicative of his usual energy levels returning. He's blocked by Sanji, but Sanji is distracted by his subsequent fit when Bon Clay bows and kisses his hand in tearfully exaggerated gratitude for the meal.

Nami leans in and firmly but gently catches Luffy by the jaw, lifting his face to her scrutiny. He blinks at her with innocent confusion, eyes darting furtively toward the food because the others are headed over and there's a serious danger they might actually get their fair share.

"Eh, what is it, Nami?"

"Just this." She wipes the ruby red smudges from his lips with the edge of her thumb and a smile.

Memento
Luffy/Vivi - Luffy, Nami - PG

He's been quiet, and she finds that disconcerting. No -- she finds that downright troubling. Luffy is quiet, and Nami is troubled. Because if there's one thing Luffy never, ever is, that's quiet.

She checks on That Woman again (its become a part of the routine since they left Alabasta; let everyone think she's been turned by a few jewels), establishes that she's only sitting reading (again), and goes to find Luffy.

Their captain is hunched in a compact rubbery hunch, of the sort you simply couldn't get a human body into that wasn't made of rubber, a forlorn little huddle of Luffy tucked under the figurehead. She feels her heart flutter in a bittersweet pang, and she watches him from a distance as he turns over and over the object that's in his hands, curling it around between his fingers.

She knows how soft it is, and how pretty the subtle tones are in that distinct colour. She's helped brush that hair, just as she's felt its owner's gentle fingers brush through hers.

She still has female company aboard ship, but hell will freeze over before That Woman takes the place of Vivi.

Nami crosses the space between them and slides down to sit next to her captain. Luffy doesn't look up until she closes her hand over his. She feels Vivi's hair again, soft against her skin, even if it's just that single lock.

"You'll lose it," she tells him, and he nods, eyes avoiding hers. At least he knows how clumsy he is.

Hesitantly, he pulls his hat forward off his head. He stares into the battered, discoloured straw of its underside, then offers it to her from a hand that's trembling faintly. "Can you stitch it into Hat, Nami? Then, I won't lose it. Then, it's always close."

Nami nods, and with her free hand she takes the hat, tightening her clasp on Luffy's hand and Vivi's hair with the other.

Mesmer
Kuro/Luffy - HARD R plus WARNING for disturbing subject matter

All he can remember is the flash of light reflecting from spinning, dancing circles.

--flash--

He's naked on all fours with his knees wide, and he can't move because -- because they've not told him to. There's an object, long and blunt and hard, jammed inside him, and he's trembling with the need to reach back and pull it out. But all he can do is yell his head off with each cruel twist and thrust, because they have told him to do that.

He's actually grateful when one of the shadows behind him finally does withdraw it, tossing the staff aside to clatter on the boards of the floor. Then, they laugh about his stretchy body and declare he definitely doesn't need any more preparation than that, and flesh enters him in its place.

They tell him to move with that other body, to grunt like an animal for them and enjoy it like a proper whore, and he's done with gratitude, even if he still can't do anything else but obey.

--flash--

Then, he knows that everything is wonderful and perfect, and even though he unaccountably doesn't remember the identity of the smart, tall, slick-dark-haired man with the glasses who's smiling in the embrace of his thighs, he knows he loves him very much, so twists his upper body around to stroke and kiss and croon over that dark head and shoulders as the other man spills into him.

--flash--

And he licks and sucks and swallows obediently for Master, crouched between his legs beneath the dinner table. If he's lucky, sometimes they throw scraps under to feed him.

--flash--

Within the press of bodies, the idea sometimes flits across his mind, as he's passed around -- but he can't remember what he's doing there, and can't think of what he'd be doing if he wasn't there, so he can't frame a reason he should say "no".

--flash--

--flash--

--flash--

--flash--

--flash--

Then he's slumped with his wrists chained to a wall, the air cold against his bare skin, and he remembers every single thing and he knows. Luffy knows exactly how much they've been messing with him, for how long, and how.

He feels his eyes widen and his lips draw back as his indrawn breath rasps. The cold horror expands to fill his world as he looks up into a catlike smirk.

Kuro crouches down and lifts his leg at the knee, and -- oh, God -- habit -- or -- or -- he doesn't even know what and can't explain it, but something freezes his limbs.

"Bastard!"

The gasped insult is the only response he can muster. He can't move, and can't fight, and even though the hypnotist isn't there, the other pirate captain's body sinks into his uncontested with the ease of long familiarity.

"Let's try it all natural this time," Kuro says. "Just you and me."

Food Porn
Luffy/Bonney - R

She sank her teeth into the steak, chewing without biting any off and sending the juices dribbling down her chin, and onward, in little rivulets down her neck to her breasts. She laughed with her mouth full at the glazed, aroused fever in his eyes and arched her body back, inviting him to lick the spillage.

His tongue made short work of cleaning her pale skin, travelling upward til he reached her mouth. They fought over the last of the meat until their tongues met in the middle.

"Strawhat..." Her feral growl was matched by his own and they fell upon each other, forgetting about the food for a while.

A short while. Albeit not through any lack of stamina.

"More," she declared suddenly, and he sang out agreement, bouncing for the last of the choice cuts on their briefly abandoned plates. He fed her pieces with his fingers, though that turned into a fight when he fed himself more often than he did her. But the fight turned again into a different kind of grappling, and they both ended up happy.

Until disaster struck.

"No more?" she choked with horror, and mounting rage. "Again?"

Luffy yelped and ran for the door, putting his head around it to howl, with rising panic, "SANJIIIIII-----! MORE MEAT!!!!" He spun, breathing heavily, and pressed himself back in cornered fear. "It'll come! He's on his way! The meat's on its way. There'll be more! Lots more! Yeah! Sanjiiiii!"

Jewelry Bonney pouted dangerously from her half-dressed sprawl on the bed.

--And the door slammed wide, pancaking Luffy's naked rubber body against the wall and admitting Nami's demonic form. The navigator, shaking with rage, didn't blink or falter at the disrobed, dishevelled, greasy or flattened state of the besotted couple.

"Sanji," she said harshly. "Is crying. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT????!"

Peaches
Crocodile/Bon Clay - PG13

Crocodile leaned forward in his chair and scowled fiercely at the subordinate in front of him. Shadows deepened the harsh, angry crease above his eyes even more dangerously. "A pressing matter has come to my attention," he intoned with deadly fury. "Perhaps you can enlighten me. Why... does Mr 3 know that I have a mole on the cheek of my left buttock? Let alone feel free to comment casually upon the 'cuteness' of said mole in the corridor, this morning?"

"Ah... you have? He did?" Mr 2 Bon Clay licked his fingers thoughtfully (nervously) and twirled on his feet. "I'm quite sure I never realised that before, Croc honeeeee----y!"

"Don't call me honey!" the Shichibukai barked out.

"Yes, sweetche-- oh. Ah, yes sir. Yes, sir." The okama saluted and managed to paste a serious expression on his face and stand still, at least temporarily.

"And speaking of which," Crocodile continued, almost spitting the words out, "Why did Mr 1 call me 'Peaches' yesterday?"

"Ahhwwwwwwww!" Bon Clay hugged his hangs in front of his heart affectionately. "I always knew he was a romantic sap inside that heart of steeeeeeee----l!"

"That's not the point," Crocodile growled.

"It isn't?! You don't think it's sweet?"

"Well, it's unexpe-- no, it is not." The Shichibukai's aggressive stance dissolved into something more like a defensive hunch. "Mihawk sent me roses. Roses! Moria sent me a lace thong. Kuma... Kuma sent a marriage proposal." Veins twitched one after another in his forehead, and he finally stood up, tipping the desk with its assortment of 'gifts'. "What the hell have you been doing while wearing my body?!"

Bon Clay leaped up on the toes of his ballet shoes and was gone from the room in a flash, leaving only the coo-ed words "Seeyaaaaa--------aaa, Croc-chaaaaa-----n!" echoing on the air.

Alone, Crocodile huffed and pouted down at the pile of cards, flowers, and other paraphernalia now on the floor. "So he's really been cheating on me, hasn't he?" he asked them, glumly.

He went to pour a drink. He could feel a headache coming on.